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i_must_obey [userpic]

Trouble

March 9th, 2008 (11:56 am)

I over slept this morning and Master wasnt happy at all. On weekend mornings Im supposed to have his breakfast ready for him when he gets up.

i_must_obey [userpic]

Trust

March 3rd, 2008 (10:50 am)

There are days when I feel a certain amount of unrest and its always due to the same thing, Im having a hard time trusting. Im just never quite sure whats set it off. My Master is a good man. Hes a strong man and hes wise and he takes good care of me. So why should I have a hard time trusting him? Im not any different than most girls, Ive had relationships that didnt work out and I ened up getting hurt, could it be that those relationships have made it difficult for me to trust in my Master. I feel like I read things into how he responds to me and start thinking that hes pulling away when its probably not true. I have a horrible time being patient too and right now Im having to wait on a lot of things and his quiet calm is making me feel unsettled.

i_must_obey [userpic]

Just a cunt

February 26th, 2008 (10:05 am)

Im just a cunt. My Master has me recite this to myself when Im trying to focus and block out everything else but his happiness. My cunt is the center of my femaleness, its what defines who I am and what my place in the world should be. I have to say though that its not always easy for me to accept this fact. Sometimes its hard blocking out all of the messages coming at me from everywhere else that tell me that I should put my needs first and that I'm an all powerful woman.

i_must_obey [userpic]

A new slave

February 25th, 2008 (09:47 am)

Im going to be trying to write in this journal every morning. Or at least most mornings. It all just depends on how much time I have.

Im very new to being a slave and Im learning a whole lot about many different things. Reading communities has been a lot of fun for me. 2 years seemed like a long time to me before I started reading what other people have lived through and done and then I realized how little I really know. I like hearing what other people have learned and how they live. My Master is teaching me a whole lot and I have to admit that its taking time for me to adjust to being his property. Its taking time for me to learn to give up everything for him. Im so used to making decisions for myself and relying on my own thoughts and feelings and so its a challenge letting go of all of that and putting him first. Listening for his voice before my own. Its what I want more than anything though. I know that its the right path for me and most of the time I think I do pretty well. Sometimes though without realizing it at first I will catch myself questioning him or hesitating. Im really lucky that my Master knows how to correct me for these moments of doubt.

i_must_obey [userpic]

Hello livejournal

February 21st, 2008 (08:30 pm)

Master had me start this journal so that we can meet other people who are interested in the same things we are. I've been living with my Master for 2 and a half years now and I'm a very happy slave. I'm really looking forward to getting to join in and talk to other people about their experiences with living this life. I guess I don't have a lot to say just yet, but I'm sure that Master will give me something to write about soon!

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